You always thought that the pain would go
away didn't you?
You always thought that, if you didn't
think of it, you wouldn't feel it
You were always told, "Don't
worry, it will end soon"
It hasn't ended has it?
All you wanted was for someone to
understand your pain and for someone to tell you that it will all be fine and
that they won't tell anyone.....right?
You thought that if someone knew, that
you would be able to redeem yourself back to what everyone calls
"normal", yeah?
Well, you're wrong.
Telling someone gets you nowhere these
days
Helping someone gets you a little further
than yesterday but you always fall back down Thinking the pain was going to go
away was stupid because it never does; it just stays there until you feel like
your life is nothing but a dying entity
Maybe it stops every now and then but
that doesn't mean it's going to stay away
Listening to people might get you their
respect but where is it going to get you?
You choose to listen to those who have no
experience with what you're going through because those who are going through
what you're going through have not quite figured out how to stop it yet.
But even when they do, are you going to
choose to listen to them; are you going to choose to get the medicine to your
pain?
Because knowing you, you wouldn't know
what to do.
I say all this because I'm going through
what you're going through.
I hurt, I cry, I cut, I continuously
think that one day maybe someone will cut me some slack and I won't have to
worry about it anymore.
But I know that that day is either really
far away or it's never going to come.
I change my emotions and bottle
them up so no one knows what happened the day before
I cry myself to sleep at night so I don't
cry the next day
I hide the pain from everyone so no one
comes up to me to ask me, "What's wrong?"
I don't remember what it feels like to
feel loved because the last couple of times I got heart broken
As much as I loved the feeling of knowing
someone was there to hold me and to support me, I hated the feeling of them
breaking my heart and then thinking we could stay friends because it's like I
never meant anything to them
It's like the giant paragraphs and phone
calls and the days spent together meant nothing
Like the deep and meaningful
conversations never actually meant anything because it's like the feeling of
being used
I know you're hurting and I know you want
to cry but you need to listen to me because I know what it feels like
Every day I am one step closer to finding
the cure to being happy again